Lost Bible Causes Sticky Situation in Seattle

SEATTLE (EAP) -- A lost Bible ended up causing a rather sticky situation for a Seattle man last weekend.

John P. Boatwright, 25, God-Fearing man that he is, was terrified after losing his Bible, and looked everywhere for it, including up his own rectum, where his head became stuck and he realized he needed to seek help from 911. (See picture at right).

Boatwright managed to dial 911 on his phone by feeling the buttons on the phone, and although he couldn't speak, the 911 operator said that she felt God was "calling her" to send out a rescue team to help the man who she could tell was in some kind of real trouble or distress.

"Last thing I remember, I was sitting on the couch reading my Bible. That's the last place I remember having it. I was naked with just a bathrobe on at the time like I usually am when I'm thinking or reading about Jesus in his white tunic, and I thought maybe I fell asleep and sat on it by accident," Boatwright said.