Pope Poop Cross Causes Miracles

VATICAN CITY (EAP) -- An Italian plumber claims the feces of Pope John Paul II is responsible for miracles. The man was called to fix a clogged toilet in the Vatican, and saved the source of the clog and fashioned it into a cross which he now wears around his neck.

Antonio Romero, 35, self-employed plumber, claims that his business has tripled since he began wearing the Pope poop cross.

"I never take off the cross, even when I sleep," says Romero. "Some people ask me what it's made of, and I've gotten some pretty strange looks when I tell them."

Romero claims it was an act of God that he was chosen to fix the backed up toilet, and claims that he received a special message from God to fashion the excrement into a cross.

"The Vatican could have called anyone, but they called me," he said.

"My wife won't sleep in the same bed with me anymore, but that dosen't matter," Romero said. As long as my business is booming, I don't care."